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Dr Teacher tries to justify his existence

See the descent of man....


Dr. Teacher Pontificates...

And yes, he is a real Doctor. Well, of physics anyway which sort of qualifies him until you read his views on anti-gravity....

When teachers finish a hard week at school there’s nothing they like better than a bit of cross-dressing. Here I am sporting the ginger look, which although not my best colour I do think quite suits me.










On Whiskey...


Well you don't spell it "Whiskey" for a start , do you?Anyway what matters is that it's not spelt "Chivers Regal" as that's not even whisky let alone whiskey. What matters even more is being able to tell the difference between whisky and milk, which is bloody simple as long as you can see the label.

Anyway, at least I can drink more than most. Here you can see my first championship win back in the summer of '87. The secret of winning a whisky drinking competition is mixing it with water and pretending it's a pint full - but make sure you don't tell the others. They just wouldn't understand.



On Samphire Hoe...a Dovorian nature reserve...

It obviously is named after either "marsh samphire" a form of edible seaweed used in pickles and now found in England around the North Norfolk coast where it may only becollected for personal use and not for selling to trendy London restaurants, or more likely given the location, "rock samphire" a cliff plant with fleshy leaves used in similar pickles (which I didn't know existed until I looked it up). And from "hoe", a projecting ridge of land, see also the Scottish "heugh" or "heuch" - a cliff.

Where are Sandgate and this Hoe anyway?

Ten minutes later...

Hang on - I've been doing my research here, Samphire Hoe is a bloody mound built from tunnel spoilings since I was last in Dover and named by competition. You were quite right to misspell it, no Dover boy would acknowledge a pile of chalk that should rightfully still be under the sea blocking off the french. Was it a Smithard that named it Smarts? Is that why you were so keen to get the name right? As for "its in the O'Brien books" Newall - very funny!


On Dover...and why a trip to France shouldn't start there

If we were to travel to France we would of course be taking the three hour ferry journey to Weymouth, and then driving the interminable coast road to Kent join in this pilgrimage to Dover whilst Paris bound.

No sneaky shortcut across to beautiful traffic free Normandy, no standing with a tear in our eye at the British and Canadian beaches praying for those valiant continentals who fell defending France from Anglo-Saxon oppression, no travelling at speed on the correct side of the road on well maintained motorways, where a crash just means a stay in a five star hospital. Oh no, none of that decadence for us. Its sack cloth and ashes to climb on our knees the steps of Dover Town Hall, that secular cathedral. It's carbonated warm beer and a punch in the face if your nose wrinkles at the smell of stale urine in the spit and saw dust hostelries that are the wine bars of Sandgate for us, oh yes.


On something quite scientific....

The number of electron neutrinos (don't ask me - some exotic particle left over by the fusion process) detected coming from the Sun has always been at odds with theory. Either they've got what happens in the Sun wrong or these things metamorphosize on their way from the Sun which is against the Standard Model. Well new results from an observatory that consists of a heavy water tank under a mountain in Canada suggest it's the Standard Model that's wrong. Brilliant! John and Fiona are quite free to correct me here but basically the Standard Model is the thing that predicts what exotic particles exist and how they fit together to form more usual things like electrons, and it underpins all of the multi-million pound big science that goes on in accelerators like CERN such as the search for the Higgs Boson. Everything they're doing is based on bollocks - close it down and redistribute the money to scientists doing small projects that might actually produce something useful. (Not that I'm bitter or anything!).