Coronavirus, lockdown and free will. Some of the things covered in the Daily Diary.
Inauguration oath ends in chaos as confused Joe Biden vows to take the Chief Justice as his lawful wedded husband
In what White House officials are calling an “unexpected but historic” incident, Joe Biden has accidentally married Chief Justice John
Wellerman delivery of sugar and tea and rum delayed due to Brexit
The crew of the ship ‘Billy of Tea’ are going to have to wait a while for their delivery of
The complete list of President Trump’s achievements
We at NewsThump have spent a lot of the last four years laying into Donald Trump, but on this last
Removal team find Jeffrey Epstein’s severed head in Donald Trump’s personal fridge
The removal team at the White House made a gruesome discovery while removing President Trump’s belongings. Upon opening Trump’s personal
Jacob Rees-Mogg vindicated as British fish left delighted at collapse of UK fishing industry
Critics of Jacob Rees-Mogg, a politician and Slender Man cosplayer, have been forced to swallow humble pie after his much-derided
White House housekeeper relieved to be incinerating her last-ever orange-stained pillow
The White House housekeeping team is this morning celebrating their final visit to the onsite incinerator to dispose of yet
Donald Trump to pardon General Zod, Skeletor, and The Borg
On his last day in office Donald Trump, President and halfwit, will issue a number of Presidential pardons to a
New strain proves that post-Brexit Britain still capable of making things that lead the world
A new and more deadly virus strain has silenced critics who believe the UK will no longer be a manufacturing
‘Self-isolating’ Matt Hancock caught space-hopping to Hedingham Castle ‘to test his hearing’
The Tories are bloody well at it again. Where once there was Dominic Cummings driving to Barnard Castle “to test
Donald Trump brings in his best Action Man to play with on last day of term
Donald Trump has turned up on the last day of his term ready to spend the day playing games and